I have been contemplating the purpose of life lately. A little light musing to pass the time, right? I was prompted to this food for thought by thinking about how a person may spend their day before the advent of radio. And then, further back, to the days before electric light. I do not know my history, so I do not know how much time this is, and while I could go look it up, it doesn't matter really other than as a distraction from the subject at hand. Was the purpose of their lives any different than mine is today? They probably didn't have weekends off in which to take naps or watch car racing or weed the flower bed or mow the lawn.
Has leisure time changed our ultimate purpose in life? I enjoy my flower bed. I like seeing the colors and I choose plants that support wildlife, but ultimately because I enjoy them as well. If supporting wildlife was my only goal, I would not have a lawn, but a field of wildflowers or woodlands like what grows along the trails I enjoy wandering. I have a vegetable garden that I do not depend on for sustenance but because I enjoy growing vegetables. Sometimes I even eat them. But not all that often. I rarely can them or otherwise store them for later use. Even being a beekeeper can be easily determined that I do it for me, because I enjoy learning about bees and how to keep them healthy and thriving more than for the benefit of anyone else. So my life's purpose certainly is not the survival of my species.
Which leads me to believe that it is likely more ethereal in nature. In Conversations with God, a book I read over a decade ago, I recall it being said that our purpose is to provide God perspective. Liking it to a candle that cannot perceive its own light. Perhaps this is true. Kind of hard to wrap my mind around, truth be told because it means that I have to accept that I am a facet of God and that seems a bit arrogant to take lightly. I would rather work on behalf of God than admit I am part of God. Because really, if there is no God, there is no reason to even contemplate my life's purpose. I wouldn't have one other than to simply live; and even that is nebulous.
So I have to start with the assumption that to contemplate my purpose is to first assume there is a God. I do not think that God has a purpose for my life or the lives of others. That feels a little cruel, like a child's taunt " I know something you don't know!". So, it is up to me to determine what I want my purpose to be.
I am not likely to discover anything that will forever change the fate of my fellow humans or other occupants of Earth. I have no ambitions for political leadership. I will admit that as a teenager, I wanted to be a star, that desire has faded with time and self awareness. The question of "What do I want to be when I grow up?" has only plagued me for 51 years. So I can't see that my life's purpose has much to do with what I want to "be".
What I keep coming back to, again and again, is relationships. Years ago when I was mulling over this question, I came up with wanting to be the best tree I could be. Because trees didn't likely worry all that much about what they wanted to be when they grew up. They would be a tree. So, if they had any choice in the matter, they would be the best tree they could be. So would I be. And that means, to me, to be the best human, best female, best white American from the Pacific Northwest, best mother, best wife, best daughter, best flower grower, best beekeeper, best employee that I could be on any given day. And not the best compared to anyone else, but the best I could be in that moment. Is that my purpose? Not precisely. Again, relationships are the key. I am in relationship with all of those adjectives that define me, wife, daughter, citizen, etc. And within each of those relationships, I have a choice about who I am and how I am within them. And I have power in that. My power may come from taking or my power may come from giving. And I choose it.
On my walk today, some kid hollered something at me. I couldn't really hear him and it didn't really matter what he said, but he was deriving a moments power by yelling at me. He probably felt he was more funny or something than he had been the moment before. If I had cringed, he would have gotten more power from it. But as it was, the power he got was relatively small. Now what if he had yelled that I was beautiful or that he loved me. Again, he would have gotten power from it, but the power would have been different. He would have made me smile, warmed my heart. And we both would have gained power from the exchange. The choice makes all of the difference. So, I believe that my purpose in life is to elevate my own power and the power of others through positive exchange. I don't do it all the time and can get into places where there is nothing but outgo until I am an empty sack of human skin. So, I pray to love. Because I know that is how I want to grow my power. I can draw it from people negatively, but it doesn't work very well and I end up hating everyone, myself most of all. But I have to pray, to connect to God because I believe that God is the source of love and it is how I remind myself of it.
I was thinking the other day if I could just exchange those two words, God and love. God is love is a common phrase in religious circles. So using the principles of logic, those words should be interchangeable. And love is a verb, at least should be. So God becomes a verb then too. I started to get lost around there. Because to my head, God is a noun. Is Love a noun? Now I get to try and define love, Love and God, god. Too much for my little brain.
My purpose is not and can never be to sell groceries as fast and efficiently as possible. To be the best damn cashier on the planet. No, that it isn't it. I am sure of it. But my purpose may be to engage honestly with compassion and love as much as I possibly can. No sweating the small stuff here. Work to love everyone I encounter. Does this mean I don't pull weeds or be annoyed by people who talk on the phone in my check out line? That is my human side. She gets annoyed. But my divine side? She loves them all. And my purpose is to be the best I can be in each moment. A divine human.
So, perhaps I do believe we are a facet of God after all. To provide perspective? Maybe. To practice divinity? Yes, I do think I can do that. That sounds like a wonderful purpose to me.
