Covid 19 pandemic is affecting our personal and political landscapes. It is bringing out all sorts of behaviors. Some are generous, others are polarizing.
But the thought that I had yesterday is that if we practice Social Distancing, we begin to segregate ourselves into a kind of safe zone. Even if I intend to practice social distancing, I bend the rules for some. I am sure I am not alone in this practice. I know I am not. So now I have my clan of accepted people. Some of whom I touch, others I just stand near. I can touch the people with whom I live. I am often closer than 6 feet to my friends and co-workers. Sometimes I hug them. Sometimes I touch them on the back. Small gestures of compassion is what I allow. Not every day, not all of the time. But I have and likely will continue to do so.
Currently, neither my mother nor my father is part of this clan. They live in a different towns and I have not seen either since before the pandemic. They are both over 60, so by default they are at a higher risk. Would I hug them? Yes. I may change my clothes and wash my hands first, but yes, I would. Presuming they would allow me to. But these are people I already know and love.
Now, let's add a stranger to the equation. Am I less inclined toward social interaction knowing there is a risk to me and my clan? Yes, of course I am. I will protect my people already in my circle. Will I need to take people's temperature before I let them in? Will I judge them by their health, age, economic status, skin color, religious beliefs, country of origin, gender, sexual orientation? When I kept everyone at 6 feet, then I didn't judge. I could be in personal isolation. But as my boundaries begin to bend, I believe our inner judge of character gets to reign supreme.
Social isolation can lead to loneliness. It can lead to a desperate energy to find a community. That desperation can cause people to keep one at arms length as the desperate transforms into an emotional vampire. I have met those folks and I have been those folks. I know how this story goes.
So, now I encounter an emotional vampire of questionable health. Do I start to bend and let them into my clan, especially as restrictions begin to lift? Not easily. My instinct will be to keep my distance. But what I think is the absolute right thing to do, is to allow everyone in. EVERYONE. Because I cannot be allowed to play judge. How could I choose this person over that for no discernable reason other than my own bias and bigotry?
As a social introvert that willingly shares some parts of herself with everyone and other parts very few get to see, I find this idea daunting and maybe even a little horrifying. If I open my emotional doors, I risk being taken advantage of or hurt. That is the cost, isn't it? I also risk the others in my clan. Part of me wants to hunker down and say no, no one else is allowed. Xenophobic I think the word is. This is not a healthy option. Though I am no longer of breeding stock, it limits the social gene pool rather than the physical one.
Instead, I must risk. Risk myself, risk my clan to be inclusive. To trust in the goodness of humanity or else be confident enough that I can give away all I have and know that I will not want. A belief in a universal consciousness enough to trust it. Believe that we are all in this together. For some, this may not be such a huge leap of faith. But for me, it surely is. I do not trust easily. It is a huge shortcoming of mine. But I feel strongly that this is the right thing to do.
My employer asks me to wear a mask, gloves and practice social distancing. I will do so as I can. But I must try and forge connections through these barriers and continue to do so once the barriers come down. Risk love. Risk connection. Risk life for the sake of love.